At the age of 41, I am beginning to comprehend how many years I wasted just surviving another day. It does make me sad at times, but it makes today all the more precious. It also makes the people in my life all the more precious. I believe the ability to love each other is God's greatest gift to us. He did not intend for us to be alone. If He did, He would have stopped creation with Adam.
I am so grateful for the people God has put into my life, regardless of how big or small my interactions with them are. I love them all. Really, I do. People fascinate me. Every one of them has a story. Some are difficult and tragic, but none are beyond hope. It is never too late to be a better person. I guess seeing A Christmas Carol twice in the past week has hammered that point home! Circumstances and other people may never change, but our hearts can.
My childhood was often difficult, I struggled with severe depression for nearly two decades and if you read my other blog, you know what my marriage was like. Those are circumstances I can't change. What I have changed is my inward focus. Depression kept me trapped within myself, obsessing over my perceived shortcomings. A Christ-centered life keeps the focus on Him and allows Him to mold me. When that happens, there is a natural death to self. My whole mindset changes and I realize I am here to serve and be a friend, regardless of how long we have known each other.
I have been born again in every sense of the word and I don't want to waste another minute not being fully alive. If you are struggling right now, know that there is hope. Life won't always be so dark, and this is coming from someone whose favorite song used to be "Comfortably Numb." Know what it is now? Wonderful, Merciful Savior! My favorite line is "you are the hope when our hearts have hopelessly lost the way." Nothing, absolutely nothing, is beyond His ability to heal.
Romans 8:38-39 "38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."